to my brother: i’m scared for you.

I’m scared for you, my brother.

That one day you’ll come to realize that your life is like no other

Strange, abnormal if you must.

That one day you’ll wake up and it will dawn on you that you have no idea what fine is, why you have to pay it and to who the money goes...

The foundation of your life was built on rubble and that rubble will crumble before your eyes.

All you’ll be able to do is watch, quietly as your life is turned upside down, your perception of reality questioned

I’m scared that you will end up like me.

Confused, angry, unaware.

Until your conscience questions itself, gaslighting yourself into a madness that no one can help you out of besides yourself and you try everything gonna but nothing fixes you.

Until one day you realize you’re a broken toy. And nobody ever wants a broken toy.

You’ll feel the eyes watching you, looking in disbelief and disgust, hearing the murmurs of everyone asking what happened? And that same shame your mother feels will consume you whole, regurgitate you and spit you out as nothing but pieces of the boy we all once knew.

I’m scared that no one will understand you, and you’ll start to believe that you’ve gone mad. You’ll start to believe that this is life and you’ll want out because you can’t stand the pitiful stares.

I’m scared that you’ll know that no one ever truly cares and you’ll feel like a fool for it. Feel stupid for having hope, and just like a candle your hope will melt away and you’ll be left sitting in a room writing down your problems on your phone that is meant to keep you from ending it all, unfixable.